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LabelExpo

Lifetime achievement award goes to Chinese label industry’s founding father

Professor Tan Junqiao chosen as the recipient of the R. Stanton Avery Lifetime Achievement Award Professor Tan Junqiao, founder and honorary chairman of the China Label Sub Association of the Printing and Printing Equipment Industries Association of China (PEIAC), has been chosen as the recipient of the R. Stanton Avery Lifetime Achievement Award at the 2017 Label Industry Global Awards. Judging for the 14th annual awards program took place during the FINAT European Label Forum (ELF) in Berlin, where the judging panel met to consider entries…

Young people are the future of the sign industry in the UK

Nominations are closing shortly for the BSGA ‘Young Sign Maker of the Year’ award sponsored by Roland DG. Offered in recognition of the next generation of hardworking talent emerging in the UK sign industry, nominations for the BSGA ‘Young Sign Maker of the…
HP Indigo 12000 Digital Press

HP to showcase new business growth opportunities at photokina 2016

 HP announced that it will showcase the latest capabilities for top quality printing at photo finishers and professional labs at photokina (20-25 September 2016, Cologne, Germany). At HP’s booth (Hall 4.2), visitors to photokina will see the HP Indigo 12000…
Rob Goleniowski demonstrating the LEF-20 at the VersaUV Experience Day

VersaUV Experience Day by Roland DG was successful

Roland DG event attended by many partners and customers Clevedon in the UK was the host area for Roland DG UK’s UK’s first VersaUV Experience Day. There was a focus on versatility and a variety of profitable applications were shown across a wide range of…

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LabelExpo

Lifetime achievement award goes to Chinese label industry’s founding father

Professor Tan Junqiao chosen as the recipient of the R. Stanton Avery Lifetime Achievement Award Professor Tan Junqiao, founder and honorary chairman of the China Label Sub Association of the Printing and Printing Equipment Industries Association of China…

Young people are the future of the sign industry in the UK

Nominations are closing shortly for the BSGA ‘Young Sign Maker of the Year’ award sponsored by Roland DG. Offered in recognition of the next generation of hardworking talent emerging in the UK sign industry, nominations for the BSGA ‘Young Sign Maker of the…
HP Indigo 12000 Digital Press

HP to showcase new business growth opportunities at photokina 2016

 HP announced that it will showcase the latest capabilities for top quality printing at photo finishers and professional labs at photokina (20-25 September 2016, Cologne, Germany). At HP’s booth (Hall 4.2), visitors to photokina will see the HP Indigo 12000…
Rob Goleniowski demonstrating the LEF-20 at the VersaUV Experience Day

VersaUV Experience Day by Roland DG was successful

Roland DG event attended by many partners and customers Clevedon in the UK was the host area for Roland DG UK’s UK’s first VersaUV Experience Day. There was a focus on versatility and a variety of profitable applications were shown across a wide range of…
MTEX 5032HS at Sign UK

First Appearance Of MTEX 5032HS In UK

MTEX celebrated a year of continued growth and innovation at Sign & Digital UK. MTEX showcased one of its five new models launched during 2015 – the high speed version of its MTEX 5032 printer as it celebrated a year of outstanding growth and innovation at…
IDS USB 3 uEye XC camera

IDS Wins Red Dot Award

USB 3 uEye XC industrial camera’s unconventional design quality demonstrates individuality. German based Imaging Development Systems (IDS), has received a Red Dot award for its innovative USB 3.0 industrial camera. The company is one of the leading global…

Life & Style

Jeff Jacobson

Xerox is splitting their company in two.

Jeff Jacobson has been appointed to the Board of Xerox. Jeffrey Jacobson, who is president of the Xerox Technology business, has been appointed to the Xerox Board of Directors following the completion of the company’s planned separation into two publicly…
Kerrie-Anne Moore

Soyang Europe Strengthens Sales Team

Company appoints Kerrie-Anne Moore to push sales in self-adhesive materials market. Soyang Europe has beefed up its sales team with the appointment of self-adhesive specialist Kerrie-Anne Moore. Her new role will see her spearhead Soyang’s new range of…
Ursula Burns

Burns To Chair New Xerox Company

Xerox confirms Ursula Burns as head of post-separation Document Technology Company. It was announced on 20 May 2016 by the Board of Directors of Xerox that Ursula Burns will take over the reins as chairman of the board of the Document Technology Company…
IIJ Nick Beckett

IIJ Beefs-Up Technical Support

Two new appointments made to help support the company’s growing customer base globally. Industrial Inkjet Ltd (IIJ) has appointed two new technical specialists to strengthen and help support the company’s systems for a growing customer base globally.
Stuart Morrison

New Technical Service Engineer At Durst UK

Durst appoints Stuart Morrison as technical applications specialist. Stuart Morrison has joined Durst UK as a Technical Service Engineer, specialising in technical applications.
Nigel Bond, CEO of UK based Domino Printing Sciences

Brother Goes Outside ‘The Box’

Nigel Bond now part of the Brother Executive Management Team. Nigel Bond, CEO of UK based Domino Printing Sciences, has become a member of the Brother Executive Management Team. The appointment came into effect 1 April, 2016.

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The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:

Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved.

But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

'Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.

She was a Marine pilot in Afghanistan, one day her plane got hit.

She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 6 Taliban fighters.

She shot 3 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed 2 more with the knife, till the blade broke,

and then she killed the last of the Taliban with her bare hands."

''Good Heavens,' said the horrified teacher.

What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story?"

"Don't F**K with Mommy when she's been drinking."

I love these touching stories!

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1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl.

2. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the Bathroom.

3. In one smooth movement put the cat in the toilet and close the lid. You may need to stand on the lid.

4. At this point the cat will self agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from the toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this!

5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a 'Power-Wash' and 'Rinse'.

6. Have someone open the front door of your home. Be sure that there are no people between the bathroom and the front door.

7. Stand well back, behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift the lid.

8. The cat will rocket out of the toilet, streak through the bathroom, and run outside where he will dry himself off.

9. Both the toilet and the cat will be sparkling clean.

 

Yours Sincerely,

 

The Dog

________________________________________

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Paddy McCoy, an Irish printer, received a letter from the Department of Social Welfare stating he was suspected of not paying his employees the statutory minimum wage and that an inspector would be dispatched to interview them.

On the appointed day, the inspector turned up.

“Tell me about your staff,” he asked Paddy.

“Well,” said Paddy. “There’s the printer – I pay him €240 a week and he has a free van.  Then there’s the receptionist – she gets €190 a week along with free board and lodging. There’s also the half-wit. He works a 16-hour day, does 90 per cent of the work, earns about €25 a week along with a bottle of whisky and, as a special treat, occasionally gets to sleep in the master bedroom.”

“That’s disgraceful” said the inspector. “I need to interview the half-wit.”

“That’ll be me, then,” said Paddy.

Copyright © 2011, DPNLIVE – All Rights Reserved

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The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest fire. Smoke at the scene was too thick to get any good shots, so he frantically called his home office to hire a plane. "It will be waiting for you at the airport!" he was assured by his editor.

As soon as he got to the small, rural airport, sure enough, a plane was warming up near the runway. He jumped in with his equipment and yelled, "Let's go! Let's go!" The pilot swung the plane into the wind and soon they were in the air. "Fly over the north side of the fire," said the photographer, "and make three or four low level passes." "Why?" asked the pilot. "Because I'm going to take pictures! I'm a photographer, and photographers take pictures!" said the photographer with great exasperation.

After a long pause the pilot said, "You mean you're not the instructor?"

Copyright © 2011, DPNLIVE – All Rights Reserved

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Three highly decorated police officers die in a wild shoot out with narcotics dealers and went to heaven.

God greets them and asks: “When you are laid out in your casket, and your fellow officers and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?

The first cop says: “I would like to hear them say, that I was the bravest cop on the force.”

The second police officer says: “I would like to hear that I was a terrific cop who died in the line of duty.”

The last cop replies: “I would like to hear them say … Look, He’s Moving!”

Ellen Neumann

Copyright © 2011, DPNLIVE – All Rights Reserved

True or False

Fun

santa and reindeer

21 things you can only get away with saying at Christmas

21 things you can only get away with saying at Christmas 1. I prefer breasts to legs 2. Tying the legs together keeps the inside moist. 3. Smother the butter all over the breasts! 4. If I don't undo my trousers, I'll burst! 5. I've never seen a better…
cowboys

The Gay Cowboy

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very good-looking woman and determined to keep the ranch, but knew very little about ranching, so she decided to place an ad in the newspaper for a ranch hand. Two cowboys applied…
monks

Monastery Life

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old canons and laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.

Can you measure up?

It was a wet day when a man walked out to the street and caught a taxi. He got into the taxi, and the cabbie said, "Perfect timing. You're just like Brian" Passenger: "Who?" Cabbie: "Brian Sullivan. He's a guy who did everything right all the time. Like my…
horses bum

SHERGARS BUM

I cant help myself this week. So please excuse the sick jobs. Talking about being sick I had a sore throat. I was feeling a little hoarse. A woman has been taken into hospital after eating horse meat burgers from Tesco. Her condition is said to be stable Not…

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