Living Now
Lifetime achievement award goes to Chinese label industry’s founding father
Young people are the future of the sign industry in the UK
HP to showcase new business growth opportunities at photokina 2016
VersaUV Experience Day by Roland DG was successful
Music
Van Morrison Biography
Do you remember when we used to sing, Sha la la la la la la la la la la te da This 68…Neil Sedaka Biography.
The Little Devil that was brought down and found Waking Up Hard to Do. This American…List of UK Singles Chart Christmas number ones from 2014-1952
List of UK Singles Chart Christmas number ones from 2014-1952Biography of Tom Jones
A boy from nowhere still going strong. Pontypridd is not a place that springs to mind…Elmore James (1918-1963)
One of my favourite Blues artists of all time Mr Elmore James was born on January 27,…Cat Stevens - Yusuf Islam Biography
“You can argue with a philosopher, but you can’t argue with a good song”. This 65 year…The Beatles Biography 1970-2013 Part 4 of 4
The Long and Winding Road after Breakup The Beatles 1970-2013 Part 4 of 4 Part 1 can be…The Beatles Biography 1970-2013 Part 3 of 4
The Long and Winding Road after Breakup Part 3 or 4 This is part 3 of a 4 part series on…
Events
Absolute Graphics A Winner
New T3 Affinity display system proves an ‘absolute winner’ for Irish company. One of the…Mimaki UJV55-320 To ‘WoW’ Visitors At Sign & Digital UK
New 3.2m Mimaki UJV55-320 to be put through its paces at exhibition launch. UK based,…Sign & Digital UK 2016 Expands Business Theatre
New seminars will cover interior wall décor, wayfinding and directional signage. Sign &…New Affordable Roll-To-Roll Printer From Mimaki
New UJV55-320 3.2m UV printer expands grand format graphics opportunities. A new, 3.2m…Roland DG returning to Sign & Digital UK 2016
Latest and greatest technology being brought to Sign & Digital UK 2016 Roland DG has…Kiian Digital To Launch Digistar K-Choice At ITMA 2015
Designed for Kyocera print heads and to meet textile Industry standards. Italian based…Antalis Keeps On The Education Trail
Company continues regional educational workshops for printers. Antalis UK has confirmed…Arjowiggins Creative Papers-Mohawk alliance
Antalis offers new business opportunities to digital printers following ground-breaking…
Arts & Entertainment
Lifetime achievement award goes to Chinese label industry’s founding father
Young people are the future of the sign industry in the UK
HP to showcase new business growth opportunities at photokina 2016
VersaUV Experience Day by Roland DG was successful
First Appearance Of MTEX 5032HS In UK
IDS Wins Red Dot Award
Life & Style
Xerox is splitting their company in two.
Soyang Europe Strengthens Sales Team
Burns To Chair New Xerox Company
IIJ Beefs-Up Technical Support
New Technical Service Engineer At Durst UK
Brother Goes Outside ‘The Box’
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football"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones" Chris Turner, Peterborough manager, before LC QF, 1992.
"Tell the Kraut to get his ass up front. We don't pay a million for a guy to hang around in defence." NY Cosmos executive, on Beckenbauer's positioning.
"I spent a lot of my money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest just squandered" George Best.
"If we played like that every week we wouldn't be so inconsistent"
Bryan Robson, Man U, 1990.
"That's great, tell him he's Pele and get him back on."
John Lambie, Partick Thistle manager, when told a concussed striker did not know who he was.
"I was saying the other day, how often the most vulnerable area, for goalies is between their legs"ANDY GRAY, SkySport
Richard Keys: Well Roy, do you think that you'll have to finish above Manchester United to win the league?Roy Evans: You have to finish above everyone to win the league, Richard.
"If you can't stand the heat in the dressing-room, get out of the kitchen."TERRY VENABLES, Capital Gold
"It's now 1-1, an exact reversal of the score on Saturday." (Radio 5 Live)
"Football today, it's like a game of chess. It's all about money." (NEWCASTLE UNITED FAN, Radio 5
"I don't believe in luck... but I do believe you need it." ALAN BALL
"Merseyside derbies usually last 90 minutes and I'm sure todays won't be any different." TREVOR BROOKING
"Dumbarton player Steve McCahill has limped off with a badly cut forehead." TOM FERRIE
"And I honestly believe we can go all the way to Wembley...unless somebody knocks us out." DAVE BASSETT
"And Arsenal now has plenty of time to dictate the last few seconds." PETER JONES
"What makes this game so delightful is that when both teams get the ball they are attacking their opponent’s goal." JIMMY HILL
"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins." BRIAN MOORE
"Strangely, in slow motion replay, the ball seemed to hang in the air for even longer." DAVID ACFIELD
"What I said to them at half time would be unprintable on the radio" GERRY FRANCIS
"If there weren't such a thing as football, we'd all be frustrated footballers." Mick Lyons
"He's one of those footballers whose brains are in his head" Derek Johnstone - BBC TV Scotland (1994)
"The crowd think that Todd handled the ball.... they must have seen something that nobody else did" Barry Davies (1975)
"I can see the carrot at the end of the tunnel" Stuart Pearce (1992)
Jimmy Hill: Don't sit on the fence Terry, what chance do you think Germany has got of getting through? Terry Venables: I think it's fifty – fifty
Bob Talent
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Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar...
Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the singing career going?"
Stevie replies, "Not too bad. How's the golf?"
Woods replies, "Not too bad, I've had some problems with my swing, but I think I've got that right, now."
Stevie: "I always find that when my swing goes wrong, I need to stop playing for a while and not think about it. Then, the next time I play, it seems to be all right."
Incredulous, Tiger says, "You play GOLF?"
Stevie: "Yes, I've been playing for years."
Tiger: "But -- you're blind! How can you play golf if you can't see?"
Stevie: "Well, I get my caddy to stand in the middle of the fairway and call to me. I listen for the sound of his voice and play the ball towards him. Then, when I get to where the ball lands, the caddy moves to the green or farther down the fairway and again I play the ball towards his voice."
"But, how do you putt" asks Tiger.
"Well", says Stevie, "I get my caddy to lean down in front of the hole and call to me with his head on the ground and I just play the ball towards his voice."
Tiger: "What's your handicap?"
Stevie: "Well, actually -- I'm a scratch golfer."
Woods, incredulous, says to Stevie, "We've got to play a round sometime."
Stevie: "Well, people don't take me seriously, so I only play for money, and never play for less than $10,000 a hole. Is that a problem?"
Woods thinks about it and says, "I can afford that; OK, I'm game for that. $10,000 a hole is fine with me. When would you like to play?"
Stevie: "Pick a night."
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A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture had been taken for exceeding the limit, even though he knew that he was not speeding... Just to be sure, he went around the block and passed the same spot, driving even more slowly, but again the camera flashed. Now he began to think that this was quite funny, so he drove even slower as he passed the area again, but the traffic camera again flashed. He tried a fourth time with the same result. He did this a fifth time and was now laughing when the camera flashed as he rolled past, this time at a snail's pace.... Two weeks later, he got five tickets in the mail for driving without a seat belt..
You can't fix stupid.
Ellen Neumann
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1. Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
2. At a Budapest zoo:
PLEASE DO NOT FEED THE ANIMALS.
IF YOU HAVE ANY SUITABLE FOOD, GIVE IT TO THE GUARD ON DUTY.
3. Doctor's office in Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES
4. Information booklet about using a hotel air conditioner. Japan:
COOLES AND HEATES: IF YOU WANT CONDITION OF WARM AIR IN YOUR ROOM, PLEASE CONTROL YOURSELF
5. In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
6. On the grounds of a Nairobi private school:
NO TRESPASSING WITHOUT PERMISSION.
7. In Aamchi Mumbai restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK, AND WEEKENDS TOO.
8. The best! In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS
9. Hotel, Japan:
YOU ARE INVITED TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF THE CHAMBERMAID.
10. In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox monastery:
YOU ARE WELCOME TO VISIT THE CEMETERY WHERE FAMOUS RUSSIAN AND SOVIET COMPOSERS, ARTISTS, AND WRITERS ARE BURIED DAILY EXCEPT THURSDAY
Ellen Neumann
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GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED:
1) No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
2) When your Mom is mad at your Dad, don't let her brush your hair.
3) If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
4) Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
5) You can't trust dogs to watch your food..
6) Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair..
7) Never hold a Dust-Buster and a cat at the same time.
8) You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
9) Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
10) The best place to be when you're sad is Grandma's lap.
GREAT TRUTHS THAT ADULTS HAVE LEARNED:
1) Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2) Wrinkles don't hurt.
3) Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts
4) Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground...
5) Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6) Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy..
GREAT TRUTHS ABOUT GROWING OLD
1) Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional...
2) Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3) When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4) You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5) It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions…
6) Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician
7) Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.
THE FOUR STAGES OF LIFE:
1) You believe in Santa Claus.
2) You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3) You are Santa Claus..
4) You look like Santa Claus.
SUCCESS:
At age 4 success is . . . . Not piddling in your pants.
At age 12 success is . . . Having friends.
At age 17 success is . . Having a driver's license.
At age 35 success is . . . ..having money.
At age 50 success is . . . Having money..
At age 70 success is . .. . Having a drivers license.
At age 75 success is . ... . Having friends.
At age 80 success is . . .. Not piddling in your pants
Ellen Neumann
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True or False
The Pope’s Election
There were two Catholic boys, Timothy Murphy and Antonio Secola, whose lives paralleled…Glades County Pilot Sees Trailer Being Stolen From His House.
An article on news-press.com caught my eye today. It says that a North Carolina pilot,…Sinking of the TITANIC
On the 100th anniversary of the sinking of the Titanic in which 1,509 people died and…What Women Want
What Women Want in a Man When they first start dating 1. Handsome 2. Charming 3.…Eating Tips for the Christmas Holidays
1. Avoid carrot sticks. Anyone who puts carrots on a holiday buffet table knows nothing…I’ve got a bad cold or is it Man Flu?
Bob Tallent Thursday 8th December 2011 I picked up a bad cold last Monday. It’s now…Answers to Brainteasers
The Questions to these answers are in the previous article Answer 1 The base word is…Brainteasers
The answers to these teasers are in the next article Question 1 There is a common English…
Fun
21 things you can only get away with saying at Christmas
The Gay Cowboy
Monastery Life
Can you measure up?
