21 things you can only get away with saying at Christmas 1. I prefer breasts to legs 2.…

A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was a very…

A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in…

It was a wet day when a man walked out to the street and caught a taxi. He got into the…

I cant help myself this week. So please excuse the sick jobs. Talking about being sick I…

Office Notice Swearing at Work. Dear Employees: It has been brought to management's…

A listing some of their UK client’s genuine complaints. 1. "I think it should be…

So much to do. So few people to do it for me. The thought of terror frightens me. You…

There were two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM), and the other one…

WWII, an American soldier, weary from long weeks at the front is on a train leaving Paris…

You know you're Irish when - You don't need to study for exams because your Granny lit a…

This sound like some people that I know!!! While treating a cut on the hand of a 75 year…

Seamus & Bessie... An Irish farmer named Seamus had an accident with a lorry, and was…

"I've told the players we need to win so that I can have the cash to buy some new ones"…

Tiger Woods & Stevie Wonder are in a bar... Tiger turns to Stevie and says, "How's the…

A man was driving when he saw the flash of a traffic camera. He figured that his picture…

1. Cocktail lounge, Norway: LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR. 2. At a…

GREAT TRUTHS THAT LITTLE CHILDREN HAVE LEARNED: 1) No matter how hard you try, you can't…

from Bob'S PUNCH LINE. Do you realise that the only time in our lives when we like to get…

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the…

5 STAGES OF DRUNKENNESS Stage 1 - SMART This is when you suddenly become an expert on…

An elderly woman went into the doctor's office. When the doctor asked why she was there,…

EVER SINCE I WAS A CHILD, I'VE ALWAYS HAD A FEAR OF SOMEONE UNDER MY BED AT NIGHT. SO I…

A man boarded an aircraft at London's Heathrow Airport for New York, and taking his seat…

An old man and woman were married for many years, even though they hated each other.…

Little Billy wanted 100 bucks badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing happened. Then…

Bert feared his wife Alice wasn't hearing as well as she used to and he thought she might…

Too funny not to share! Sometimes it does take a rocket scientist! Scientists at NASA…

Why, Why, Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are…

I was tidying up the DPNlive twitter account this morning and fell across the Aengus Ó…

The Pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The Pastor was so pleased with the…

The mother-in-law stopped unexpectedly by the recently married couple's house. She rang…

The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a…

1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the…

Paddy McCoy, an Irish printer, received a letter from the Department of Social Welfare…

The photographer for a national magazine was assigned to get photos of a great forest…

Three highly decorated police officers die in a wild shoot out with narcotics dealers and…

A young couple on their wedding night were in their honeymoon suite. As they were…

Two nuns were shopping at a Tesco store. As they passed the beer fridge, one nun said to…

One year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... The…

16. I resolve... I resolve to... I resolve to, uh... I resolve to, uh, get my, er... I…

A man placed some flowers on the grave of his dearly departed mother and started back…

Hello, welcome to the mental health hotline. If you have obsessive compulsive disorder,…

A Russian and an Irish wrestler were set to square off for the Olympic gold medal. Before…

OLD people have problems that you haven't even considered yet! An 85-year-old man was…

One afternoon a little boy was playing outdoors. He used his mother's broom as a horse…

Kieran was sitting outside his local pub one day, enjoying a quiet pint and generally…

Little Matty and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother's house.…

When four of Santa's elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as…

Ellen Neumann A newlywed farmer and his wife were visited by her mother, who immediately…