Sean had long heard the stories of an amazing family tradition.
It seems that his father, grandfather and great-grandfather had all been able to walk on water on their 18th birthday. On that special day, they'd each walked across the lake to the pub on the far side for their first legal drink.
So when Sean’s 18th birthday came 'round, he and his pal Mike, took a boat out to the middle of the lake. Sean stepped out of the boat and nearly drowned! Mike just barely managed to pull him to safety.
Furious and confused, Sean went to see his grandmother.
'Grandma,' he asked, "It’s me 18th birthday, so why can't I walk 'cross the lake like me father, his father, and his father before him?"
Granny looked deeply into Sean's troubled brown eyes and said, "Because yer father, yer grandfather and yer great-grandfather were all born in December, when the lake is frozen, and ye were born in August, ya idiot!"
Following are a few established requirements necessary to Walk On Water:
1 - Extreme fear:
This certainly offers the basic motivation and skills necessary to "Walk On Water" for impressive distances.
2 - Fear of water:
Doing everything possible to avoid "Getting Wet" will help get you started.
3 - Stupidity:
A complete failure to recognise that water is soft (and of course, wet) will help you achieve significant yardage over the water's surface - in this case try to keep going and just don't look down.